“Because” or “And”

Have you ever wondered if your ability to get results was tied to your identity in some way?

I have. I spent plenty of time in my military career fretting through the ups and the downs, wondering whether my successes and failures were “because” I'm a woman, or if they happened “and” I'm a women.

But I’m not alone. I regularly interact with other leaders stuck in this place, questioning whether their gender is getting in their way or leading to success they’re not sure they deserve. I want to offer some lessons I’ve learned, in case you’re stuck in this place, too.

1. Let go of the “because.” I know, easier said than done. But consider this: I've seen women mess up, but I've seen even more men with their ass on the line (for the mere reason that I worked with a whole bunch of ‘em). I’ve learned we all make mistakes. We all fail. But we are all also valuable, and worthy, and capable of more than we know possible. When our mindset is stuck, it influences our behavior, often in self limiting ways.

2. Stop asking for permission - most of us are really just waiting on ourselves anyway.

 3. Get to truly know yourself. What is your superpower and your purpose? What do you want to be known for? When you know what you have to offer and you're confident in what you bring to the table, you stop wishing you could offer what someone else can.