Leadership Intimacy
At the risk of making people cringe on this valentines day, I want to talk about intimacy in the workplace…no, not that kind of intimacy.
I’m talking about the kind of intimacy that occurs when the people who work for you feel empowered to talk openly about what matters most, their hopes and dreams, their fears and insecurities, their strengths and weaknesses. When leaders achieve this level of intimacy, people feel safe to show up authentically because they feel seen and heard.
The best leaders I know make a big impact because they listen and they care, not because they have excellent technical skills or the best ideas. But they also do three other things really well that I want to share, to help you spread the love in the workplace today.
1. Be kind, not nice. Nice=feelings oriented whereas kind=growth oriented. When our focus is on feelings, it causes us to hold back direct, actionable feedback, and we miss opportunities for growth. When we’re kind and we focus on clearly telling people what they did well or how they can improve, we demonstrate our care for their long-term development and in the long run, we grow organizational capacity.
2. Give and receive regular feedback - When asking for feedback, be specific in your questions. What’s going well, what’s challenging you, where are you finding your stride and where do you need more support? Asking specific questions will help you dial in on what people need from you and what resources they need to achieve success.
3. Welcome conflict as a way to challenge group think and enhance perspectives, but take action when it starts to get out of hand or becomes personal. Conflict is inevitable in the workplace yet it’s one of the areas leaders struggle with the most. It’s uncomfortable, it’s volatile, and it has the potential to spiral out of control, if you avoid it. When it becomes unwieldy, collect your thoughts before you address it and prepare yourself mentally for the conversation- what’s really going on; who are the stakeholders involved; what would successful resolution look like for you, the leader; and what options do you have available to resolve it? For particularly volatile situations, consider asking an uninterested third party or mediator to help guide a conversation between rival parties. It’s important that all parties involved have an opportunity to feel heard in order to fully move past it.
What do you think about intimacy in the workplace? Is there room for it?
#leader #leadership #growthmindset #mindset #relationshipsmatter #spreadthelove
